Wolves as Sheep Snakes as Priests

Worthy Redeemer

2007-02-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

God loves me in spite of my sin? Thats incredible because sometimes I have a hard time loving myself or others when I or they screw up in the slightest. God is great and worthy of praise and my entire life. But I will never give it to Him simply because I cant. I am not capible to give to Him, I can only try and fail try and fail and try and fail again. Along they way though I might get it right sometimes, but thank God, no, I really mean it, I thank God almighty that He loves me in spite of my sin. To the Worthy Forgiver: my soul longs for You to take my life and make it new. I want to be ready to take my last breath in full confidence that You will not cast me away. Remember me O Worthy Forgiver, remember how I cried at night to you for your mercy and You showed it to me, jus tto have me forget You later the next day. Thank you for knowing that I will fail more times than I succeed and never forsaking me when I forsake You for sin. I dont even know if You accept me as Your own yet, but I will do my lifes work for You, I do not care to life any other way than Yours. Please see that in me and nourish it and grow it so that I may produce fruit for You and your Kingdom O Worthy Forgiver. There is a feeling in my stomach right now that is making me sick because I think of all the things I have done that make You cring but I do readily and joyfully sometimes, and yet You love me still? I deserve to die for my sins against You, you have shown kindness and grae to us and my eyes well up with tears as i write this thinking that You can actually hear me and see me typing to You. Remember me, for I am like David, I search after Your own heart but I make it as hard on myself as possible, Your grace is sufficient enough for me.

Guilt and God

2006-12-31T00:24:00.000-08:00

"And with it He touched my mouth and said, 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquity and guilt are taken away, and your sin is completely atoned for and forgiven.'" Isaiah 6:7

I have been thinking about how seriously real Jesus is and was, and that has lead me to think of my own personal life. Because of the seriousness and reality of Jesus, my thoughts are now consumed with not "messing up" according to everyone else around me, and not consumed with trying to please Jesus. And the more I think about this, it becomes evident to me that Im NOT living for Jesus, but living in fear that if its found out that I messed up in a particular area, then well, the person or persons who know or suspect to know will have nothing else to do but judge me, even if they dont say it verbally, they think it. So, instead of living for Jesus I live to please everyone who knows me by trying to make them think I have no struggles and Jesus is great in my life and that me and Him are like this (crossing fingers) When in fact, me and Him are miles away at points in my life. I dont like felling far away which makes me feel guilty and I dont like felling guilty and I know God doesnt want us to feel guilty. I tend to think that guilt is something that most people say God gives to us, they say such things as "See, because you feel guilty thats God telling you that you are." I disagree, I feel guilt because I always im gunna be guilty no matter what. Im never going to be perfect and Im never going to be Jesus. But thank God for Jesus. With out Him we are all screwed. It all makes sense, listen... because we will NEVER be pure and holy and blameless God says "Welp, these humans I made sure are pretty lame and the only way to let My creation know I love them and they can be save is Me saving them, by becoming human and dying for them." God gave Himself up for us, taking on our sins and guilt so that we dont have to feel self defeated and feel crappy all the times we mess up. This doesnt give us the freedom to do anything we want, but it gives us freedom to mess up and know that God will forgive us when we do. Jesus, taking our unrighteousness and turning it inside out and making us righteous before God lets us become holy and perfect through Him. This is what is so amazing! God loves us enough to die for us so that we can mess up...and still be made perfect in God eyes through Christ. Does that not sound like the steal of the... well, the steal since the beginning of time?
Im just tired of living in fear of what people may think if they find out certain things about me if they want to think things, I'll let em, but it wont matter to me because I know God and God loves me no matter what I do, thats what makes Him God. Could you imagine loving someone no matter what they do? Pfff, I'll let God do all that, I will just do my best to love them as much as I can on this side of Heaven.

The real Jesus

2006-12-29T23:23:00.000-08:00

Thommy spoke tonight during a break when bands were fixin to go onto stage and he said something that captured my attention. He said "Jesus was a real man/God and what He did was real!" Do I get that? JESUS WAS REAL. He really walked the earth, He really breathed and spoke and sang and laughed and was just...REAL. We/ Me so carelessly use the name "Jesus" in everyday life somtimes. We take Him extremely lightly, "oh ya, Jesus, Hes cool" or "yep, Jesus died for me, Hes my Saviour" These statements come out of my mouth all the time, I dont know about you, but I take Jesus lightly sometimes, ok, most of the time, and Im angry at myself for that. We have all to gain and He had nothing to gain, He died a terrible terrible death so that we can be presnted clean to the Father through Him. Does that make sense to anyone? It makes so much sense that I doesnt seem real to me and I take it for granted that He was beating so bad that one could not even tell He was a man says Isaiah. All that for me, why? I mean we can understand love to a certain extent, like how I know I would die for my wife if it came down to it, but even then is that trully unselfish? Without Jesus we are just human, and that means prideful, angry, lustful, greedy and condemnd, what a horrible life to live. I will continue to to have problems with all those thing s and more, but what is ridiculous is that my unrighteousness is made righteous through Christ on the cross...what? Why do I gain everything and He becomes a brutilized sacrifice for me, the Creator, is my sacrifice so that I may have life and have it abundantly? To me this is something I need to think aobut everyday in order to live the life that we are called to and very capaable of living through Jesus. Thank you God for speaking through Thommy directly to me, I love You.

Just Me Thinking

2006-12-20T01:31:00.000-08:00

2 Timothy 2: 4-7 "No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs- he wants to please commanding officer. Similarly if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not recieve the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules...Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight." This is Paul addressing Timothy and telling him to think about what he just wrote to him. So, I read it and thought about what Paul said. No one becomes a soldier to only partially listen to their commanding officer, they either do it fully or the lead officer gets rid of them. This has tremndous insight into becoming a Chrisitan. I signed up for duty in other words, duty for serving my commading officer, Jesus. Like an athlete, I can not compete if I do not know the rules and I deffinately will not recieve the victor's crown with out the rules to be followed. To me, this is God saying if you join my team do not serve half heartedly, but serve joyfully and willingly, and if you dont, do not expect to stay on my team long. And if you happen to be on my team with a half heart and then youre life suddenly ends, do not expect me to know you as one of my players or soldiers when I see you. My players and soldiers follow what I say, not what the world says is good for them to do or anyone else for that matter.
Its common knowledge to those who believe that the Scriptures are God's Word, to them and my self, to do differently then what the Lord commands is foolish. In Proverbs, God says that a wise man follows all of the Lords commands. A fool says that his way is right, but in the end it leads to death. This death, to me, is not only physically but Spiritual death during my life here on earth. So if I feel like Im warn out and things are depressing, its probably me straying from the Lord and His commands and making up my own way of living. I'd be an IDIOT to stay away so long to were I can not tell how far off the path I am. This would scare me because I would have strayed so far away that I dont know how completly lost I am. If this becomes the case, I would pray that God brings me back to Him like He promises to those who love Him. All in all, like Pastor Matt says "God's way is ALWAYS the best way" we can try it our way, and it might even work for a looong time for us, but guess what? It will not work in the end and God promises that over and over and over in the Bible. I'd rather be a "crazy" Christian guy who has what God has provided for him then a guy who has all he could ever need or want that would most likely cause me turn my back on God because I made my self into what I am. Pride is the stumbling block to God...and anyway, all things of the earth are God's, He made it, He owns everything in it. Humilty and fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life (Proverbs 22:4)

Why Do I Feel Like This Old Guy?

2006-12-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

So, I got up this morning to go take a nice jog along the beautiful streets of Riverside and I realized something...I feel like Im 80 years old! Yesterday I played football with some dudes from Sandals for like 2 hours, I dont know about you, but for me thats a looong time to play. It was cold and rainy and all that but it was a good time for sure. The only bad time is the days afterward when you feel like youre 80 years old instead of a sexy 22. So I get dressed to go jog and Im streching in my appartment and I noticed something, the streching hurts just a little bit more today. And theres is a bone in my right foot that feels like it is poking out of place and it feels like it really really needs to crack, like you would crack your knickles, but it wont either. But being the tough guy that I am, I say, "ppfff, whatever, I'll still go running" So I ran about 19 feet and realized that the combonation of realy sore hamstrings and abs and a foot that feels broken doesnt make for a good jogging experince. So I decided to take some time off because I figured I got alot of running in yesterday, so hopefully I'll be back to full strenght tomorrow to run the sidewalks of Magnolia Avenue.

Raise em up!

2006-12-12T15:22:00.000-08:00

Why Am I enbarassed at Church sometimes to even think of lifting my hands to my Saviour, our Saviour? To think of God as the Creator and not lift my hands in jubilation to Him because of how embarassing it might be for people to look at me is just lame to me now. Sandals people are supposed to be worshipping God, and I dont think anyone really cares if I have my hands up. I think the only person that cares is me. I want my prasies to go out to him like the song says. Going out means going out, like, leaving me phsyically. Many people in the Bible lifted there hands and eyes to God in praise and surrender, they did not care who was there or who wasnt, the only One that matters is there. So, if He is there and I am there, I will meet with Him with out embarassment. Hands up, standing on my head, doing cartwheels whatever, God is the One and only God, who deserves no feelings of embarassment coming form His people when worshipping....Im sorry Lord, forgive me for being lame about being seen and what people will think if they see me, they dont know what Im feeling with you, if fact they probably dont even think of me as "holier" than them because Im raising my hands. I think im being to critical of what people are thinking when in actuallity they are probably more concerned with worshipping you instead of looking at Josh and saying "yep, there he is, he thinks he's so holy lifting his hands" hahaha Im an Idiot to think that genuine Christians would think that. Again, forgive me God, and help me to worship you as you lead me to do.

2006-12-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

Galations 5 speaks about keeping ourselves pure by living by the Spirit. Paul says "Live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." When me and my roomies play video games and are so into it, we do not focus on anything else. The game has our attention and not much can break it. So, when God wants us to be focused on the Spirit He wants us to be so destacted by Him and His power, that nothing can break our attention from it. This will deffinately keep us/me from sinning against the Holy and Mighty God, wether it be greed, pride, selffishness or sexual no no's. God's want our minds on Him, just like I can focus on Mario Strikers Soccer, or writting a term paper, thses things keep me busy. Being busy and pre occupied with God will keep me from falling into temptation

Boundaires, Freind or Foe?

2006-12-06T23:15:00.000-08:00

Boundaries are something so simple yet so hared to fulfill at any given moment. I remember when I was a kid, boundaires were my friends and they kept me in line. Now, being the "wise" older man that I am now I say, "I can handle it" but in actuality my sense of boundaries are worse off then when I was a kid. Im so thankful to have a beautiful girl who keeps me inline and punches me in the metiphorical "nuts" when Im an idiot. I will countiune to try to put inot practice what I say Im gunna do, I need God more than ever, for every part of my life nowadays. And I wont get Him if I stand still, I need to do something like James says "...faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead." I refuse to let my faith be dead, I want to show you my faith by my good deeds, I am sorry. Forgiveness is what I need

Slow to Speak

2006-11-29T14:37:00.000-08:00

Well I got the quick to listen part down but it is just this darn ol slow to speak part thats giving me trouble. Today I Biblical wisdom class I learned it is wise to liten to anyone on anything no matter who they are, even if I do not agree with what they are saying. It seems an impossiblity to me to not speak my mind on certain subjects, I am very passionate about things and it gets my emotions going if someone triggers that switch. It is better to not speak as a"know it all" but rather speak in love and ask questions in love of why some people believe they way they do in certain ideas. If the questions are rooted in love and the person is a believer, then the right questions, with the guidence of God through the knowledge of Scripture, the person will come to make a realization that either they listen to what people say or they listen to what the Scriptures say, or what God says for those who like this term better. James speaks of actually just covering my mouth with my hand if I have a problem speaking out of turn or offensively. I will really do that now if I feel the emotional button being pushed, I want to be humble and I can only do it with God's help.

Breaking Gods Heart...Him healing mine

2006-11-18T20:28:00.000-08:00

Im really good at doing just that, breaking His heart. If I was God, I would of killed everyone already just from my shear pain that would be in my heart from the people I love, carelessly forsaking me. I guess thats why He is who He is and I am who I am, the kind of god I would be would not last a day with us, I'd give up. The ways of God make no sense to us, which in turn make perfect sense to Him and that makes us simple humans, and who are we to say to God, "I will do things my way, my way is better than yours!" Of course we dont like how God does things and thats becuase what He does, has a purpose, think about it, when we give our lives to God, we then gain purpose, the purpsoe being to serve God and make His praises loud! If people aimlessly wonder around this earth striving to be all they can for no reason except for being rich or maybe even have a good family and marriage, well guess what, like Ecclesiastes says, all things are meaningless with out God, of course we may enjoy the things we get here on earth, but they cant go with me when I die, so what become imporatant then? God! Nothing else matters unless God is involved with what Im doing, like having a good marriage and family, it only has a point when He is involved.
I should thank God more for being, well, God and having a plan for not just me, but this world who curses His name and stomp on His heart daily. But I know it hurts Him more when His own children curse Him and stomp Him down. Im shallow and foolish God, my ways seem right to me, I am a fool sometimes, forgive my heart, make me wholly devoted to You, Please, I beg You, I am nothing and hopeless without You.

"Exercise" my faith?

2006-11-16T13:07:00.000-08:00

So, Im doing my Biblical wisdom homework right now and there is these questions: why are difficult times a good thing for believers? And, A young couple believes that they need to get past their financial stuggles as quickly as possible so they can be comfortable. Whay are they missing concerning the benfits of stuggles? What do they need to chang eabout thier prespective? The answer to the first question is that difficult times for us as believers helps us exercise our faith in the Father, and by exercise the Bible means to work the faith out, like one would do to their muscles in the gym. I find my self slipping into idea a being "comfortable" when I get married, but that thinking takes God right out of the picture. If I stive only for being comfortable, then Im not exercising my faith in Him to take care of me. Anf if i do not exercise my faith I will not gain wisdom like the proverbs speak of. God, help me to exercise my faith in you, I want to be comfortable in You not in the world. You said that I can not have one foot in the world and one foot with You, bring both of my feet to You.

Light

2006-11-14T19:24:00.001-08:00

What will it take for me to become a light on a hill?
A light that ones look to and see through the darkened clouds of devilish schemes
Not one lights a lamp under the belly of a bowl, but it is lit in the open air.
Jesus, open up the skies, remove the cloud covering in my heart, and shine
You say, 'awake sleeper and rise up!' Wake me from my destruction and pride O' Lord.
Shine on me and fill me with your salt so I may infect the wounds of this world with You.
May I live in forgiveness as you did even when they drug You up the hill and displayed Yoy
and the cross.
Each step I take I pray to be guided by You. Each thought I make I pray it hinders me not.
What will it take for me to be a light on a hill?
It takes You.

Its almost here!!

2006-11-12T18:35:00.000-08:00

I dont know about you, but I get sooo excited for chanklas/Sandals every sunday night! Its funny how as a kid when you are forced to go to church how dreadfull the experince can be and you just cant wait for the service to be over so you can go to the snack area and get sugar cubes and punch, then run around on such a sugar high you swear that the sun is talking to you. And now as a 22 year old I now have that sugar high before church even starts...its good times. I never once thought that God would be this important to me, His Word, His ideas and His over self. I think it helps now that I that I am involved in Frontside/youth group at Sandals, I feel connected to people of God which makes me connected to God even more. The excitement of hearing that God loves my when Im stupid and even when Im smart makes me know that security in Him is like no other, I cant wait for church and I cant wait for my life with God to begin!

Mosh dancing...to round house kick or to not...and prayer?

2006-11-12T02:59:00.000-08:00

not like any one reads this stuff any way except for maybe one person...you know who you are *wink* Anywho, so I went to a Sleeping Giant show tonight, which is a hardcore show...ooohhhh I know im sooo tuff cuz I go to shows but thats a given,, a given that Im tuff. But whats with the hardcore dancing? I just dont get it...why the feet too the other kids face and why the fists to his mouth? to me its seems like a whole lot of no fun if Im at a show where there is a band I like and then I end up with me teeth kicked out my mouf. But then again, is there any other way to get your groove on to a breakdown? I think not...that fact is that HxC dancing hahaha, is really the only thing you can do, the music is violent heavy and fast, so if you can come up with a better way of dancing to this kind of music please, be my guest.
One of the songs Sleeping Giant sings is called "No sleep from thine eyes" which is a song about prayer. Tommy, the lead on vox said that he has been praying for the lead vox singer of 100 Demons to be brought to faith in Jesus...for four years!And the other night Tommy found out that this dude actually was saved like a week ago...the name of his band says it all about how much his heart was hardened towards God...100 Demons. Which got me thinking, God has a unique and completley unimaginable agenda for those who continue to pray and pray and pray for what God lays on thier hearts. For me praying is somewhat of a rutine but not in a good way. I do look forward to praying but I doubt God even hears me, but I know He says that if we pray with doubt in our hearts He will not answers our prayers. But think if you were God, and you told your people to pray to you if they are troubled but then they pray to you with doubt in thier hearts, would you be willing to answer those prayers? If im talking to someone and I know they dont truly believe what they are saying or asking me then my response is not going to be as genuine as it should be...I would be like "ppfff" forget you dude, Im not going to waste my time with you, and I think thats what God kinda says if we dont beleive He can answer our prayers. So I need to pray for myself to learn how to really pray for trust in my words for God to hear...blessings from God our what we pray for usually but the reason why we dont get them is our own fault...do we really beielve in God, a God who can give us what we are asking for? Im really goiing to look at my self and ask me that question we should all do the same. The power of prayer should not be underestimated by anyone, our God is a God who can do anything and everything for those who trust Him.

Calvin and Arminism... hmmm?

2006-10-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

I dont think that this issue really is going to be solved... ever. For starters there are plenty of Scripture on each side of the issue to present vaild cases for the opposing side of each. God clearly states that there is a elect remnant of His People that He has choosen to be saved. But if you want to get picky, and most theologians do, the question then becomes did God plan it out that way? that some were to become saved and that they could do nothing about it? Or is it that the death of Christ covered "...the atoning sacrifice for our sins, not only ours but also for the sins of the whole world." ? This statement would be used by an Arminism view holder as saying that the forgivness of sins is not just for the elect group but that God planned it this way and during ones life they can have the Spirit intervine if He wants, but not that the salvation of a person was layed out ahead of time for the individual. make sense yet? haha. In Calvins view the Spirit cannot be turned away by someone, in other words, once they see Jesus they can only choose Him and thats what God planned since the begininng of the world. I have, for my self resisted the Spirit of Jesus many time before I was saved. I got that feeling inside that so many of us had gotten before when we were first hearing of Jesus. And it tool me a while to give in to Jesus and find myself through Him. So, a Calvinist would say that situation is not possible that I jsut described because one can not resist God once they see. So they might say that it wasnt really God in the first place that I thought I was feeling. Do you see how fun this topic is? It goes round and round baby! Arminism and Calvinist have one thing in common though and that is that in the end the people who are supposed to be in heavan will be there, its just a matter of how they got there is the issue. And it may not seem to matter but the issue of how they got there ties into all the foundation principals of Christanity so it is important to have a basic understanding of how each side will have an impact on how you can explain Chrsit to some one. So be wery!

Excuse me!

2006-10-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

Lorenzo might be really cool for all know...Im just jealous that these girls get time with him and I dont

Who is the Bachelor...and why whould anyone watch that crap more than once?

2006-10-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

So i watched the Bachelor tonight with my gal pal and it was the most ka blame est thing i have ever seen! Maybe Im speaking from a guys point of view but I cant see how anyone could watch this. My lady thought it to be good...I think? anyway, for starters, Lorenzo is this dude who is a prince or whatever which begs the question, why do you need to go on a T.V. show man?! You should have all kinds of ladies anyway! Do you really think you will find a quality girl on American T.V.? OH and not to mention these girls are completely fake and their motives can only be coneccted to one thing...they want to marry a prince, I mean heck! I would marry a prince! Basically Lorenzo is lame and all the girls who want to find "love" or whatever on T.V. are hopelessly into being seen by someone T.V. so that they may get some recognition.